Agree or Disagree: When an affair leads to marriage, it is ok to celebrate it.

I’m not a big reader of Advice Columns . But today in the Calgary Sun, there was a question that caught me, and some other people’s eye as well.

A person named Disapproving (Note, real name  may NOT be Disapproving) wrote to Amy Dickinson and wrote this question.

DEAR AMY: One of my female family members — unmarried and in her 50s — recently disclosed to our large family that she has been having an affair with a married man for 30-plus years. They met while she was in college (he worked at her university), and he has one adult daughter. He is in his 70s.

Her announcement was prompted by the recent death of his wife. Now they are public about their relationship, attending family weddings, sending gifts, etc., as a couple.

Shortly after their relationship became known openly, she announced that they were engaged. Their wedding and her bridal shower are both being planned. My family and I have already been asked to save the dates.

She is an adult and is free to make her own choices; it’s really none of my business. My dilemma is this: I do not want to be a part of the shower or the wedding. I feel that while the intent is for these events to be a celebration, they are a disrespectful spectacle; their infidelity is now public only because his wife has passed away.

I don’t want to take a dramatic stance in any of this. I just want to avoid it altogether. Any suggestions? — Disapproving

Amy’s response was this.

DEAR DISAPPROVING: If you want to avoid drama, then you should also avoid harsh judgment. If it is possible for you to forgive your relative for her decades-long involvement in an extramarital affair, you should do so. You presumably don’t know the circumstances behind this affair and — spun differently — your relative seems like someone who has been profoundly patient. Would you wish to deny her the fullness of happiness now?

It is quite easy to decline an invitation without making a statement designed to ramp up the drama. You simply respond politely that you will not be able to make it to the festivities. You do not need to supply a reason.

However, please realize that life is both short and complicated. People sometimes make baffling choices. But the legitimizing of a relationship between two consenting and legally available adults seems like a good thing, even if you don’t approve of how they got there.

You can read her column here.

Do you Agree or Disagree with her response? What would you do if you were in this situation?

Agree or Disagree: Angus Jones is getting bad advice

You may or may not have heard of Angus T. Jones before Monday.

He’s the “half” of the Two and a Half Men. This video is Part 2 of a video that he posted of his testimony of how he became a Christian.

At the 8:00 minute point of this, he starts talking about the negative impact of TV. This will include the statement that the show Two and a Half Men is “filth”.

For those who have seen the show, it certainly is not for the faint of heart. In an interview on the Actors Studio years ago,Charlie Sheen admitted they were able to push the boundaries.

But as much as the focus is on Jones future on the show, there is some interesting language in this video.

First, Jones talks about “taking a stand” for Jesus. He talks about compromise. He talks about not being a lukewarm Christian. He speaks of righteousness.

Now, the person on the right is an interesting person. He calls himself the Forerunner. Now here is a video of this guy.

And the website.

I’m not sure what I think of him and his motivations.No matter what you think of this guy, I would not underestimate him. First, he was able to get a celebrity to convert, That gets him some notoriety in some circles. As well as some instant attention. Based on his appearance in Jones video, I’m guessing as much as he is saying that the glory goes to God, he is in the video.

The second thing is Angus Jones is 19 years old. This is significant. Why? There are church studies that say that if you are not able to convert someone to Christianity by the age of 21, then quite likely they won’t. So, here’s a guy that was able to disciple a well known young person, which can influence other young people.

Third, when is the last time there has been any public conversation about the Seventh-Day Adventist. It has been pretty rare. But this week, we will likely be doing some research on it.

So, the question comes down to is this. If you have a young son or daughter that is youth group age. They come home and talk about a guy like the Forerunner. What would your advice be? And what do you think of Angus Jones?