I wish I was making this title up. But this is the title of this article today.
And although their have been steps of change, this I fear is evidence of the perception of the self-righteousness and superiority Christians have shown over sex. Take for example, this statement here from the article.
Although sex is indeed God’s gift to us, Christians are not directly commanded by God to have great sex. Couples may find themselves incompatible in the bedroom, and they should not be bombarded with pressure from the Christian community to start having good sex and lots of it. Instead, they should find support and comfort—support that sex is not the only thing that makes a good marriage, and comfort that historically all Christians have been called by God to suffer through numerous trials.
As well as here.
Sexual incompatibility, therefore, is a cross that some couples bear, and Christian communities could lighten this burden if we made an effort to put sex in its rightful place. If sex were viewed as a gift that, like everything else in this world, is marred by sin, it may be easier for couples to accept that bad sex is neither a reason for divorce nor an excuse to stop investing in a marriage. As with other trials, bad sex is an opportunity to rejoice in suffering (1 Peter 4:13) and to be further conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29).
Although I understand the writer’s point, there is some things that doesn’t sit right with me.
First, I don’t know which community she is in, but I do not hear or see any pressure for Christians to have more sex. And perhaps this is because, I’m single and the community I’m with is generally single. There isn’t a lot of conversation about sex. I’ve heard conversations about marriage, but not specifically sex.
Secondly, I think as people,we desire much more then one simple thing in a relationship. However, there are two things that seem to come up in my mind when people are looking for a relationship. Simply put, they are compatibility and chemistry. Both on a number of different levels, including attraction and sexuality, but not limited to simply that.
Thirdly, and this is my continued frustration when I hear some Christians talk about this topic. It comes across that the Christians have got this all figured out. Because we read the “Word of God”, we know what is right. We do marriage and relationships correctly. The world sleeps around, gets divorced, and doesn’t value marriage. And I wish this would stop.
If you get to the heart of people, they do desire to be in a healthy holistic relationship. A relationship that values them as people and lasts forever. Just because someone doesn’t read from a Book, it doesn’t mean they have no values.
Just because you read a Book, and it gives you an idea on the “design for marriage”, it doesn’t mean you have it figured out. It also doesn’t mean that you have to live in misery because everything is a test to rejoice in
What it means is as we grow and we learn more about ourselves, we know what we value. Those values leads to better relationships. Those relationships calls all of us to be a better expression of love.