As a guy and perhaps if you are a guy, you might have been a part of the conversations like this. And, apologies for the vulgarity, however I think it’s important for context.
“Look at how she is looking at me. Dude, she is totally into me.”
“Dude, I know she said no to you, but you gotta be persistent. Keep trying to ask her out. Be a man. Don’t take no for an answer.”
Or, and I admit this will be touchy.
” Look at how she is dressed. She is looking for something tonight. I’m gonna give her that.”
Perhaps these conversations happen exactly like this. However, they are part of a mindset that maybe some men have been guilty of thinking.
Maybe some men think that if a girl looks a certain way, or says no a certain way, or dresses a certain way that she has some interest in sex. When the reality is they are just being whoever they are which is themselves. And there is no interest in any physical contact at all.
There has been a lot of conversation this week on sexual assault and rape. In part of the tragedy of 17 year old Rehtaeh Parsons suicide. If you are not aware, this Raetaeh was a girl that was raped by 4 boys. This week, due to the obvious struggles that come with dealing with this tragedy, she ended her life. And her father wrote this emotional letter to her.
I also read today about a women who survived rape in marriage. Imagine that. Marriage would be the one place they should be safe and respected. The vows back this up.
I was challenged a while ago now from someone. This friend said this. She said this.
” If you want to have conversations we should be having, then perhaps we can discuss how we can prevent men from actually doing this horrible acts”
I agree. And that comment stuck with me. So and thanks to another friend, this question came up. Here it is.
How do we reeducate that No means No?