Agree or Disagree: Men prefer to be respected rather than loved.

A while ago, we did discuss a book called Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. The book makes the theory that women seek to be loved, and men seek to be respected. I generally disagreed with the premise that the book gave.

This week something interesting happened. I was texting with a friend how excited I was that this month we broke 1,000 views on my blog. At this typing we passed 1,200 views.  Just on a side note, thank you for coming and checking out the blog. Im truly honoured.

Anyway, in the midst of our text conversation, I almost texted out these words.

I just want to be respected.

I thought this was in part because for many years, I felt like I wasn’t respected. I’ve worked really hard to change that. I have learned I can’t change perceptions or please people, but focus on the things that you need to change. In time the people that choose to notice, will.

But another thing happened.  I noticed that I said I just want to be respected, I didn’t say I want to be loved. (Although that’s true too).  I wondered if this was a man thing and would prefer respect over love?

What do you think?

Agree or Disagree: Men really love Bitches?

 I apologize first of all for the statement, but it is actually a book written by Sherry Argov.

The theory of this book is that men are attracted to strong women who stands up for themselves and are more desirable then those who is a “yes woman” who sacrifices herself.

What i find interesting is that I have heard some successful woman tell me personally that they feel guys are intimidated by that are strong. They feel they have not been approached because of this.

What do you think? 

Agree or Disagree: Teaching children Creationism is irresponsible for children.

Bill Nye the Science Guy is very popular.He’s obviously a well respected Scientists and very entertaining who helps to make science f.  This week he might have some frustrated people with him at his suggesting of parenting.

In this video, he suggests that if you are allowing your children to learn creationism you are being irresponsible.

So for all of us who were brought up in Catholic or Christian School apparently better have a conversation with our parents and teachers. 🙂

I love science and what it offers. I’m not anywhere near an expert, but I’m always intrigued by the new discoveries and neat things we can learn. The more I learn, Science and God are actually quite compatible and doesn’t need to be distanced out.I think our discoveries are only the tip of the iceberg. When and where it comes from has been debated long before Bill Nye was a Science Guy. And will be long after.

In a sense, I understand what Bill Nye is trying to say.I think it’s irresponsible to not give kids the full extent of what they should learn. To let people think for themselves and make a discovery and make an intelligent choice. Again and Again

I also find it kind of ironic that Bill Nye’s comment was irresponsible. Does anyone else?

Agree or Disagree: It is the responsibility of the guy to be intentional in dating and risk rejection.

This below is a blog from The Resurgence  which is a blog that discusses concepts of Christian dating. This blog which is under Mars Hill Church in Seattle, pastored by Mark Driscoll believes of course guys should take charge.

There are some interesting things in here that make sense and some that might not. It will be interesting to see what you think.

Agree or Disagree: Christians have shown more respect and reverence to the Bible than God

Have you ever read a good book?


Of course, you have. But what makes a good book?


 I like books that have  great story. Good characters. Ones that I can relate too or experienceOnes  that frustrate me.  Where the hero overcomes the odds. Or when the damsel in distrss is rescued. The villian makes me angry that I would like to be a hero. Some that overcome incredible odds.

 Or those where you  can sense and feel of the place.  Sometimes you can smell, feel, and or taste it. At the end of the day, if it is well written enough, you might want to meet the people or go to the place that the story is set in. So you are hearing about a person, but you are not meeting a person.

 I love reading the Bible. The Bible has all of those elements. It is one of the most read and sold books in history. There are organizatons that try to translate into specific languages and translsations to be rela. For many Christians, it is a direct link to God. It is how we know God. It is divinely-inspired and the way we should rule and live our life.


Yet for some this book has caused so huge hurt. And perhaps has caused an effect on how peopleperceive God.


Here are some examples.


Because of the Bible, some churches have not allowed woman to speak  or be a pastor in church.As a matter of fact, there are Bible College Professors that have intentionally failed female students. This is because Paul said “women must be silent.” (1 Cr 14:34) Yet there are many women who feel they have been called by God to be a pastor.

 Because of the Bible, there have been some people that have been removed from church or at the very least shunned, because there is a verse that teaches to expel the immoral brother. Yet  Jesus spoke of redemption for all of mankind.(1 Cr 5:11)

Because of the Bible, pastors have been warning that homosexuals are off to the lake of fire (Hell). Because there is a verse that says that the “wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God” ( 1 Cr 6:9). So some feel the need to remind the immoral that they need to repent or they will not be in heaven. Yet it seemed that God established Himself as judge.

You might note I’m taking some of these verses out of context. It’s somewhat intentional. Here’s a beautiful book full of storied that people have debated for years and some have reduced to a legal document to justify their actions. And have been deeply committed to it. And at the same time,stripped the humanity, feeling and quite frankly, God out of it.

The interesting thing is that the Bible is full of stories that have had an interaction, some positive and some negative with a living God

Does anyone else notice it?  Some people have used the Bible so devoutly that people have lost interest in meeting God?

It’s really tough for me to relate too.

What bothers me about the debate on abortion.

Off all the things we debate, I can’t think of anything that causes more of an argument then the word abortion. Both sides can be very strong on this.And the very fact that you might disagree with someone seems to cause an instant argument.

Some might respond and say I understand, we are talking about a life here.Who speaks for the unborn if we won’t? Or,how dare we tell a woman what to do with their body?

It seems that your very view on this topic says a lot about your nature and your character. We immediately put people in a box depending on the stance. And we have names for them too. Pro-Life/Pro-Choice, Abortion/Anti-Abortion. That’s just the basic names, some have been called much worse.

I remember walking in the park one day with a friend of mine,. We happened  to see someone who I know that was wearing a shirt that said “Abortion is Murder”. My friend I was with was not comfortable with this shirt. She tried to explain this and he responded with the question “Are you a Christian?”

“Yes” She said.

“Well if you stand for abortion, how can you call your self a Christian and support abortion?”

I also have a friend who spoke in universities about the Pro-Life movement.He was preparing to speak at a class he was invited at in a university. The moment he started speaking, some people walked in and interrupted his talk and shut him down.

These incidents are some of the reasons I have been hesitant to open the door on a debate on abortion.

From a political perspective, it seems to me that both sides of the abortion debate have been guilty of a few things. The first being that whatever side you are on, you take the other side personally.

It also seems that each position has the appearance of being extreme. And t’s tended to be expressed, particularly from the Pro-Life side, aggressively. Images of aborted-fetuses, t-shirts and bumper stickers declaring abortion is murder, have actually not helped, but quite frankly hurt the conversation.

Of course this week, the statements of Todd Akin about “legitimate rape” has done nothing to further the conversation. This is actually not the first time, someone has said that. I’ve heard this discussion in other groups as well. More then a few Pro-Lifers, I personally know have believed this.

And that is not to let the Pro-Choice or Pro-Abortion group off on thisone either because they have been guilty as well. There is a campaign by the Abortion Rights Coalition of Canada that is talking about Motion 312 which is a motion to reopen the debate this in Parliament. It is called “/Crush Motion 312”. I would ask why?  If you are comfortable with what is happening, any discussion should not change the law should it?

The biggest things both sides have done too me is make this political and not personal. My birth mother was 16 when she had me. She made a decision to give me up for adoption. Those decisions are not easy to make An “unwanted or an unexpected birth, effects everyone involved. Fetus, baby, mother,father and family. And as much as we want to discuss if we should have a law protecting someones rights, there is a deeply personal side on this decision. Yes, some women have felt condemned for making a decision to have an abortion. Or even feel guilty giving up a child for adoption. Or question keeping the child. But it is a personal decision that goes far beyond a law.

If we want to reopen this debate again, I would hope we can start at a more intelligent level then this debate has been before. The fact is in Canada,a high majority generally oppose abortion specifically as a use of birth control..In 2011, 77% of people opposed abortion in the last three months of pregnancy.And at the same time, when it comes to if the  mother is having a baby causing health risks to the mother, the opinions change. Also the same for people when the question of rape is involved.Proving that this is not a black and white issue.

For example, where is the discussion or the encouragement for that matter on adoption and or foster children? Did you know there is a groups that support adopting kids older then 2? And are willing to support issues like adjustment or abandonment? It’s called Sunrise Adoption.

What about after support? What do either side do after a choice to abort or to give birth is made? Are there after care counselling for parents and children?

These are the issues we really should be talking about and bringing to the forefront. If you want rights, you get responsibilities  that are attached to those rights. We must take these issues seriously to have a real conversation.

And a real conversation will educate people on the right decision.

The Week in Review-Maybe some clarity

As we are closing in on September and people are getting ready to go “back to”, some interesting things have been going on this week.

Alberta has rats! No, I’m not talking about the politicians. I’m talking about real rats seen right in Alberta. We have been rat free.

There was another  mass and public shooting in the USA on Friday This time at the Empire State Building.

The USADA recommended that Lance Armstrong have his Tour De France titles removed amidst allegations he uses performance enhancing drugs. Armstrong announced he was not appeal.

We also discuss whether a man should hit a woman. There was a story that 1 in 10 male Albertans felt it was ok to hit a woman if he angered them. Perhaps when I posted that would have been a better way to word that. However, if anything it is important that we did discuss this. And not only women, but maybe more men need to speak up as well. I did appreciate that there was clarity and that the issue was taken seriously. 

Stay tumed for next week!  There will be some interesting things to discuss.

Agree or Disagree. Some battles are not worth winning

Lance Armstrong is a fighter.

He fought testicular cancer. He won. He fought up hills and rough terrain and other elements in the  Tour de France.  He won 7.

Yesterday Lance Armstrong gave up a fight.

In his battle with the USADA (United States Anti-Doping Agency), Lance Armstrong decided he would no longer battle the doping allegations that has been plaguing him for years. As a result, he will be stripped of his 7 straight Tour De France Titles.

We can debate Lance Armstrong’s guilt or innocence, but the truth is we will never know. But Lance Armstrong does and he is living with this every day.

Lance Armstrong posted this statement which you can read here., I would like to point out an interesting part of the statement.

I know who won those seven Tours, my teammates know who won those seven Tours, and everyone I competed against knows who won those seven Tours. We all raced together. For three weeks over the same roads, the same mountains, and against all the weather and elements that we had to confront. There were no shortcuts, there was no special treatment. The same courses, the same rules. The toughest event in the world where the strongest man wins. Nobody can ever change that. Especially not Travis Tygart

Travis Tygart is the CEO of the USADA and has been the one that had to lead the investigation on if Lance Armstrong was innocent or guilty. So perhaps, we can look at this in a more personal, or symbolic light.

Lance Armstrong’s wins and his books have impacted many people that survived cancer. His foundation is going into his 15th year and has raised over $500 million for cancer research. So he knows and believes in his heart of hearts who he is and what he is about. Maybe you are in the same. You know your story and your integrity. You know the obstacles that you have had to overcome to be where you are.

However, with great success, comes opposition. People like a Travis Tygart who has been asked by people who may not have the courage to step forward  to question your success and if you came by this honorably. They don’t want to come forward, they want someone else to do it.

Personally, I went through a situation where some people did question my success behind my back. I did find the very brief battle tiring and distracting to the actual goal I had at hand.

So if you were in a situation like this, what would you do? Would you fight to the end so everyone  can know exactly who you are? Or would you let your actions speak for itself?

Even you could lose everything.

Agree or Disagree: It is NEVER OKAY for a man to hit a woman.

I’m sure you are looking at this and thinking that the statement is obvious. However, there was an article posted about a survey that only  1 male in 10 believe in Alberta believe that statement.

The article can be read here.

I know quite a few males and I am personally stunned by this. I actually want to prove this wrong. And Males I need your help.

I’m not one to start a rah-rah chant or a cheerleading squad, but tonight in this topic, I hope men step up and speak out.

So if you are a guy, I am challenging you as a man to step up and agree with this statement. Count yourself part of the people that agree with this. It doesn’t matter where you are, as this is not an Alberta issue speak out.

I’m going to say this clearly so there is no confusion.

I’m a man. I’m from Alberta. It is never, ever, ok to hit a woman.