If you have been around the church for any length of time, you have heard the discussion about “saving yourself for marriage”
There have been some very impassioned and some might say, insistent pleas for this. There have been abstinence pledges signed,purity rings worn. A very strong and clear stance on saving yourself for marriage.
While many feel this is good, and biblical, there was an interesting question brought forth mainly through this blog http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/christians-idolize-virginity.
Let’s picture the scenario. Perhaps you have been here.
Group of people surrounding each other after a church message. Sharing with joy and gratitude that they have accepted God’s plan for marriage. They have waited and felt blessed.
Except there is one, maybe two that as the conversation goes on feels less and less like the rest of the group. They haven’t waited. They made a decision for whatever personal reason that is to have it. They are concerned that if they open up, they would feel condemned and judged. They hear the messages. They hear the lingo. They know where they stand.
I think when you read the blog from Rachel and the links that follow, you will get a great perspective. However, I would like to paint another scenario.
Another group of people. They are gathering around after a party weekend. They are bragging about their sexual escapades of the weekend. Who they were with and how they felt.
In the same group, there is a couple that for personal reasons that do not have to be connected with a religion, simply do not live that way. Maybe they do or do not practice a faith, but they have decided that they will wait for a deep commitment before they go there. But as this conversation goes on, they get more and more uncomfortable. They decide not to open up. Why? They know the lingo. They know the message. They see and feel that they will get judged for waiting.
So, I also ask, does our culture actually disrespect the idea of virginity? You will note that in Rachel’s blog those that have not waited feel disqualified from the conversation of “purity”. But there may be some that feel that their choice of abstaining has as well.
What do you think